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A Ring In Time

Updated: Jun 16

“You’re wearing your ring!” It took me by such surprise. We were in the car and I had looked over at Ralph as he was talking. That’s when I noticed the foreign, shiny object on his hand. I couldn’t hide my joy.

He never wore his wedding ring because he worked in a prison. He didn’t want any of the inmates knowing that he was married. I could understand that and appreciated the fact that he wanted to protect me.

But, what about when he wasn’t at work? He would say that it was uncomfortable. He was a premie and his fingers are “webbed” as we both like to say.

I can count on one hand the amount of times I have seen it on his hand since we got married almost fifteen years ago. And it’s always been brief. An hour here or there on days like our anniversary to appease me. He had even taken it off at our wedding reception. Stinker.

It upset me sometimes. Other times I would completely forget that most married people even wore wedding bands. I understood his reasoning with not wearing it at work, but not his other about it feeling uncomfortable. My thought was always, “get over it,” but I chose not to make a big stink about it. He is a grown man and I am not his mother.

He knew that I didn’t like that he never wore it, but it wasn’t enough for him to wear it. Perhaps it was the condition of his heart or the circumstances of our lives that prevented it from rarely crossing his mind. Regardless, that was our reality and I wasn’t going to force the man to wear it.

A ring is just an outward symbol ultimately. It didn’t change his commitment to me. I knew he was faithful to me through his other actions. I know of enough people who have worn their rings from the day they said, “I do” but their actions have said, “I don’t want to anymore.”

I'll just leave it at that.

Ralph had mentioned a couple of times since our moving to Florida that he had been looking at buying a silicone ring to wear, but I didn’t give it much thought or attention. Its been brought up before and nothing has ever come of it. So, when I saw his actual wedding band on him, I was pleasantly surprised.

Of course he never pointed it out. He probably knew I would just notice. It’s silly and petty, I know, but it made me light up when I saw that ring on his finger on March 23, 2022. I figured that I would see it come off again, but it hasn’t. I guess he got over it. ;)

Every day I still can’t help but look at it. It has been worth it to not press him about it all of these years. It’s just more confirmation that his spirits are being lifted. He carried so much while living in NY.

To me, it shows that we truly have entered a new chapter in our lives. There’s relief. There’s hope. Life is still hard. That won’t change, but God is at work. We are living again. We are breathing differently. I am so grateful.

(My sister snapped this photo as I was intentionally making sure that his ring could be seen in it.)

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